I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
