You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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