Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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