You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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