There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize