i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
