I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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