Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
