yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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