Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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