Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
