super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There's always time for handjobs
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
