at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We had to coat check the pizza.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Someone came in the potted fern
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
A+ Viking dick
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
