U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's blow job season.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
