I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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