I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
