I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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