he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize