Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
we should paint friendship bongs
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