He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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