Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
