He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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