Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
