If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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