and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Randomize