I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize