hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
