why didn't you poke me back
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
