my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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