She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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