oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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