What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize