Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize