I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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