last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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