Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
