i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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