I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
