And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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