Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
