i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
