I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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