Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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