Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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