I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
