So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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