i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
