You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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