I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
