i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
