Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Green mimosas i think yes
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
