some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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