DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
