why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize