I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
