Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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