i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
