i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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