Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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