she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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