i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
