did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize