i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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