I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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