so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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