Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
