new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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