It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize