Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize