Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
